Sunday, 28 November 2010

Poetry Bus Challenge. November 29th.

From a triplet of prompts from The Bug, to be found at: http://danabugseyeview.blogspot.com/2010/11/poetry-bus-is-driven-by-bug-buckle-your.html
I offer a poem on "Leafless Trees"


WINTER POEM.


The stars sank westwards, slipping calm as tears
through nets woven from leafless winter trees.
There was no wind to stir their branches
stretched up like supplicants resigned, asking
the night for blessing. The risen Moon
made her slow exploration of the sky,
as someone brooding, seeking company
might wander friendless, staring far too long
at Venus sinking green towards her set.

Under these arcs of night, I slept,
safe from the trees, the Moon, the looming dark,
alone, with dreams alone for company,
slept for a while and woke to find
the tangled trees’ beseechings answered.
It was the silence told me, and the light,
a paler light absorbed into the dark
that earlier shadowed my closing eyes.
Beyond my pane, winter’s first snow had come,
had settled on each branch, each fork, each twig,
clothing their nakedness in lace, in white,
falling with something almost tenderness,
without a sound, as kisses do, or should.

12 comments:

  1. This was so beautifully paced ... I was gently pulled through each lovely line.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A fantastic poem, beautifully drawn in every sense. Loved last line, and - 'slipping calm as tears' is my favourite line among so many.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gorgeous! I love the portrait of a winter night.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sometimes I separate my lines in order to give the reader a chance to meditate on the images-
    to give them a chance to linger, taste and swallow pieces of the whole; and then they can put them back together when they are done.
    I love 'supplicants resigned', 'blessings answered','almost tenderness'-
    In your reply on my little argument with God you remarked about him not listening- But so often I believe he/she knows what we need before even placing something around us.That maybe why we feel frustrated ! there is a seemingly " missing link "! Thanks for visiting and writing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Lucy ...
    At first glance I wasn't certain the trees were alive. As I enlarged the photo again and again I could see something clinging to the gnarled branches .. 'seemingly leafless' seemed to fit.
    Thanks so much for sharing the Bus ride.

    ReplyDelete
  6. There is so much here that's good, but I particularly appreciated the complexity of the thought, leading to a certain ambiguity, which is then resolved as we are told winter's first snow had come.

    I also appreciated the final qualification: or should.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I enjoy the vision of bare branches like "supplicants resigned, asking
    the night for blessing" and then, in the morning, "snow falling with something almost tenderness..."
    And like Kat, I do like the uncertainty of that "or should" conclusion. You write a very good poem. Glad to find you here!

    ReplyDelete
  8. A beautifully woven poem that flows wonderfully from start to finish. I can see this as a text to some winter painting.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I like how your mind was working here...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Beautifully rendered, this has the feeling of a musical meditation - the slow unfolding, the 'holy moment' of awakening to revelation). There is a deep silence I notice comes with snow, falling or having fallen, in the absence of wind... it's then that I best understand the idea of 'silent night, holy night.' Your poem gave me that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lovely all the way through, intricate but I realy love the ending...

    clothing their nakedness in lace, in white,
    falling with something almost tenderness,
    without a sound, as kisses do, or should.


    That's beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  12. their branches
    stretched up like supplicants resigned, asking
    the night for blessing

    Great image for winter's bare branches...

    ReplyDelete